Wednesday, September 10, 2008

True Elevator Story No. 4

Vic's Junk

Vic was a prisoner. His real name means "one who confronts". But the men guarding him called him Vic.
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The man whom the guards called Vic was earlier caught by authorities while attempting to escape aboard a taxi. He eventually landed in a military compound.

When Vic was five years old, he was committed to an arranged marriage with a seven year-old girl. He saw this girl for the first time on their wedding day. This girl who became his wife was his uncle’s daughter. The series of failed marriages he had was probably the reason why he advised one of his unmarried security guards to find a wife who could cook and clean; one who is not too smart but not too dumb; and one who is not too old but not too young.

Without a wife or his army of housekeepers to do the chores for him inside his prison cell, Vic washed his own clothes in a sink. He even kept a small garden inside his cell. Despite his situation, he was the epitome of cleanliness. He would wash up immediately after shaking hands. He even used baby wipes to clean his eating utensils, meal tray and table before eating.
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Vic's favorite breakfast was Raisin Bran Crunch. But he hated Froot Loops. For snack, he loved Cheetos. When the guards ran out of Cheetos, Vic turned cranky. To comfort him, the guards gave him Doritos corn chips. Doritos made him forgot all about Cheetos. It was love at first bite. Vic really fell in love with Doritos. He could finish a family size bag of Doritos in ten minutes.

But Vic had a bigger wish: to be able to speak to his nemesis, George, who was responsible for his incarceration. Not to confront him. But to make friends with him.

But it did not happen.
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Vic did not get his wish.
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Because George did not like him.

Because Vic was the former president of Iraq.

Yes, the prisoner who was called Vic by his security guards was Saddam Hussein.
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Thanks to hewlettpackard.co.uk for the image
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Next: Most rewarding pick-up line. Ever!
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1 comment:

Joey said...

Great stories. Cool blog.